i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
