she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So many bounce houses so little time
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
