I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
These tits shall not be calmed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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