she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
