I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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