U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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