1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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