Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
