No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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