I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
