"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
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He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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