I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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