I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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