I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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