No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
