god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
