a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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