Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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