My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
there is puke in my bra ... again
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