I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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