Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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