What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
