i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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