I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
