yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
