I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
