tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
