Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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