That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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