Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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