I heard we made out
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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