You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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