stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
