i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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