we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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