Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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