I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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