Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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