when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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