it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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