just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
