Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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