I wish I could teleport
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
