I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
