I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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