You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
