Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
