Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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