therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
