my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
