there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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