WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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