Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
