she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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