your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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