I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
