the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
