Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
