I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
