he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
