the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
