I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
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Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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