Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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