when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
